When does love die?

Falling in love is a very common expression and concept. We have many ways of talking about it. For some it was love at first sight. Others had to let the feeling grow on them for awhile. Some had a particular moment or event where they can pinpoint feelings changed. Everyone loves to talk about falling in love. 

What about when love dies? How do we know when that has happened? Does it require both people to be out of love or only one? Is there an alternate feeling to know you have reached that point?

I suppose love lives within each person so it would die within each person individually. That’s kind of sad to think, but the reason we have unrequited love. A love not returned. If love can die individually then it is most likely that it happens that way when couples split. One person loses the love much faster than the other. The one who remains is left hurt and angry, not able to understand how they could just move on. 

For most I would suspect love grows slowly over time and dies in a similar fashion. Even if there is an event that changes everything (such as an affair), the love often holds on for some time. 

Personally I am slow to love and slow to let go. Sometimes I wonder if I ever let go. The same is true for anger with me. It takes a lot to bring out my rage, but then I don’t forgive for decades. Perhaps this is part of my own emotional learning. I need to continue to learn how to process my emotions and understand them. 

I have found that I can have romantic love for more than one person. The love has not died with either. I don’t know if it ever can. 

Unintentional Love

Do we choose who we fall in love with? With our family that is certainly not the case. It is purely a function of birth luck. I love my family dearly, but I didn’t choose to be born within this family. 

Most of my friends were found through proximity. Either in college or high school. Even my now wife lived above me in the dorms at college. Proximity. How much did I have to do with finding any of these people I love in my life?

I suppose with my kids that was a choice. Although it’s not always a choice for everyone. Surprises happen. Even so, I love them more than anything. More than everything else really. 

What does it mean then if you fall in love with the wrong person? A forbidden person even. 

To Share An Emotion

Life can be filled with emotions. We constantly shift between various emotions and at different levels of intensity. For most of us we really only share happiness or nothing at all with the outside world. Yet our inside world is filled with anger, disgust, fear, sadness and surprise. 

Who do we choose to share all these other emotions with? That is the core of the question. When you find that person and you know you can freely share your true emotions then you have something special.