I suppose I wasn’t paying attention to the signals of my body very well. I have been under a lot of stress lately. The holidays are always busy and stressful in their own rite, but January has turned into a bear.

There is so much going on at work, and much of it high profile. Timelines are tight. Plus Claire’s work situation, and generally just raising two small kids.

When I get stressed sex is where I go. I didn’t really notice my recent pattern until today. I’ve been craving intense sex, and kinky sex a lot. Unfortunately that means that most of it has been solo as Claire really can’t help me there.

Until today though. The news from my coworker Pam about her husband leaving her really effected me emotionally. I feel more sullen. Not myself. I still crave sex, but more of a loving sex. Which I had last night. It was nice. I can see now how our emotions can affect our desires in different ways. I’m sure my normal state will return again, but I felt it was an interesting change.

10 thoughts on “Stress

      1. I was sure what you meant, that’s all. I couldn’t tell who you had sex with; was it Claire? You said, “which I had last night”; so in a way it almost made it sound like you were with 1 of the 2 (Claire or Pam). Was just confused, that’s all.


  1. I understand if you don’t want to answer, but could use clarification.
    – When you stay ‘intense sex’ are you just talking about rough sex? To be crude, making love or f*cking (hair pulling, dog style, almost the anonymous sex one has with one nighters)?
    – Is your kink: kama sutra positions, a little flogging with soft whips, spanking, clips, toys, ropes, role play? Or harder kink like cat-o-nine or whip flogging that leaves marks/draws blood, choking? Some people also put exhibitionism and anal in this category.
    – Is giving or inflicting pain desired?
    – I know you said you’re a Dom. Do you ever switch roles? Can you be a Sub? You want a true Sub but they’re harder to find than someone who has a bit of both.

    Last, do you see any signs in Claire’s behavior that she might consent to explore your less kinky desires? A lot of people don’t know that they like it if they’ve never tried it. They have preconceived notions, feel that people who enjoy it are ‘sick’ or ‘evil’ (often they can point to Bible scriptures).

    Maybe a few SA meeting might be helpful. (Not saying you’re SA but participants can be a wealth of info and advice).

    “Taking care of it yourself” doesn’t really satisfy if you crave it rough or need some ‘kink’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m really into power exchange where I am the Dom and am able to be a sadist as well. Exhibitionism is a part as well. Yes to giving pain. No I do not enjoy switching.

      Claire is willing to try very light forms but for her it is just the act. She does not really embrace or enjoy the submissive side of it. Frankly I enjoy being a dominant even if I’m not touching or physically with the person so her not enjoying that part of it is very difficult. She definitely has a wealth of preconceived notions stemming from the Bible and I’m unlikely to shake them.

      You are right on your last note, but it’s working for now – knowing I have a better long term plan.


      1. As a dom with a sadistic bent, it seems that BD sex with semi unwilling partner should feed your pleasure (the sadistic side getting off on their discomfort, tears, whatever).
        I have no Dom tendencies in bedroom so I have no idea how being with a resistent partner would feel.
        Maybe the same evil thrill I get crushing people in the boardroom? And I usually hate hurting people except where business is involved.


      2. I’m not talking about rape. I’m talking about pushing the other person’s boundaries to their limit. Not past. Everyone has a limit – some very narrow, some extend endlessly. Almost. No sub started out the way they are. They only get to that point thru having their dom push them further and further past their comfort zone.
        But I would think it would enhance the experience for a dom with a sadistic bent to have their sub showing hints of true fear. Hints- not ready to call 9-1-1. (If crying and a little blood don’t turn you on in a partner, maybe you’re just very dominant, not sadistic. Sadists I knew needed that to make it satisfying.)
        By pushing your wife to just past her limits, even if she isn’t very adventurous yet, her fear and eventual submission to anything new might be exciting enough for you for the time being.
        Very few couples start out with nipple clamps, floggers, dildos, handcuffs, blindfolds or gags. Playing around with different things may uncover a mutual ‘interest’ to explore further.
        If you and your wife are interested in maintaining your monogamous marriage.
        I get the feeling however that you want multiple partners, so… just suggestions.


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