Letter to Sydney

I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you. I hate that I let you in. I hate that you know so much about me. I hate that I was open and vulnerable with you. I hate that I did this to myself. I hate that I trusted you. I hate that I still have daydreams of us together. I hate that you were able to drop me so easily for someone more convenient. I hate that you thought it was appropriate to tell me about him. I hate that I let you manipulate me so easily. I hate that I find you exceedingly attractive. I hate that I still crave your attention. I hate that physically being around you repulses me. I hate that you led me on with so many innuendos and sexual language. I hate that you want to be friends. I hate that I have to work with you.

I hate so much about our relationship, and wish I could go back in time and stop it before it ever happened. I know this is all my fault. I allowed this to happen. I let my emotions open up for you. It doesn’t matter what I warned you about, you were not kind to me in the end. All I want now is for all this to go away. For you to go away. To leave me alone. To stop interfering in my life. I want to heal and move on.

Trust is a sacred thing, and I handed it out too easily. I will never make that mistake again.

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10 thoughts on “Letter to Sydney

  1. OMG you’re ridiculous. Do you not realize this is EXACTLY how you have treated your wife, and EXACTLY how she feels about you?

    The lambasting may ease up if you would tell us how your wife is feeling about your betrayal.

    Sydney did NOT betray you – you betrayed your wife, again and again – PERIOD.

    Liked by 6 people

  2. You trusted her? No you didn’t. This is just you wanting something you can’t have. Grow up. Quit your job, be a stay at home dad for a while and reevaluate your life. You’re an adult! Get a grip and stop making these destructive choices. You’re in control yet you keep giving your control over to people that do not matter.
    Quit
    Today
    Walk
    Away
    Be
    An
    Adult
    You must be killing your wife. I mean I really wish she’d punch you in your face. Just once. Then kick your ass out.
    “Letter to Sydney” seriously?!? Quit your job and walk away or keep chasing this woman around why she continues to tell you over and over again that you mean nothing to her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You might need to take your own advice when demanding a person leave their job because you’re prone to emotional outbursts as we previously discussed. I understand you’re a passionate woman, but you let it take control far too often. (based on your online interactions)

      You forget this blog isn’t just for you and others to comment over, but a place to put down his personal thoughts. He’s allowed his emotions as we all are, yourself included.

      And before you potentially start a rebuttal based on the topic, again i’m impartial.

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      1. I appreciate you calling me out on my response. I understand what you are saying and I agree I am an extremely passionate person when something seems so clear to me (I know I’m hyper passionate but it’s a quality I like about myself😉). I also understand he is struggling. The reason I so boldly said quit is because this Sydney women is taking away precious time from him moving on into a place a healing. Working with her is like torture. He knows she’s there so he has to think about it before her gets there. When he’s there he has to think about their interactions. When he leaves work he has to analyze what occurred and then think about a better approach the next time he’s there. He can’t break free and this women is not some great love of his life. She is just someone stealing precious time. A siren sucking the life out of him. If he could remove himself from that situation by quitting his job or being transferred, it would be a smart decision. It would allow him power over his own life. Every second that he’s there he is giving his power to someone else and moving further and further away from a place of peace and happiness.

        To me a public blog is a place where people get to get advice by a lot of different people on what they put out in the world. He has received some smart advice and the fact that other people (including you and I) care enough to read what he writes and feel passionate enough to write a response means something. I’m not trying to break his spirit. I’m trying to wake him up!

        I see the danger lurking before him. My harsh words are an attempt to verbally shake him. He is lost and making steps to complicate things even more. Happiness isn’t in this. Many people search for so many things because they want to find this “happiness” they hear of and deserve. Happiness lies in the simplest of things. It’s a way of being and not a way of receiving or something to search for. He’s looking down dead end roads to satisfy a hunger that once fed will leave him empty again and searching for happiness in something or someone else.

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      2. Shelly, you don’t even have a findable blog! How ever could I figure you out? Oh well.

        Why do you think my passion takes control far too often? What about Patience’s passion? Or better yet, your passion to feel the need to comment on mine. Haha, now I’ve made you dizzy.

        Passion is what passion does.
        Now the word is starting to sound weird, Shellster. Janet and I are always in control…remote control. Puppeteer perhaps or Sally might sell seashells by the shore. I just can’t say for sure. I can say that Sydney does not partake in any seashell selling. It’s a shame if you ask me. Patience could pick pickled peppers perhaps but I doubt it. He’s too persnickety.

        Passion fruit is weird. Wouldn’t you say? Weird but incredibly interesting. I like interesting things. Strange or extremely silly. What’s your vote 🐚 🐰? There are always potential rebuttals, even impartially 😮.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Passion is definitely not something I lack. I just understand there’s finite time and energy per day and use it elsewhere. Amusing posts however.

        Like

      4. I have an abundance of passion. I can use it everywhere and all the time. Some say it a gift, others a super power 😂😂😂. I amuse myself and if anyone else is amused in the process, it’s a win win. Sorry. I really am ridiculously silly. If I lose that quality…game over. I will however call someone out if they’re being a douche nozzle. I mean who wouldn’t? I think we all should write letters to Sydney. There’s value in having a pen pal. There’s also value in good penmanship, pennies on heads, that wired claymation Penny on PeeWee’s playhouse from long ago, Penny from Big Bang, I don’t like that clown movie so….yeah….anyway. I’m exhausted currently and that only leads to ridiculousness to the max so I’ll pen drop here (or text finger drop) before I bring out more tongue twisting, nursery rhyming, smartassery.

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