Breaking Up

Sydney and I went the entire weekend with no communication. Kind of amazes me. Clearly time to end things. Which was my goal this past week anyway. Seems I will be able to achieve my goal.

What I expect to happen is that she will text me at 8:05 asking to meet for coffee. My gut wants me to say “No thank you.” To keep the silence going, but I understand that is the petty part of me. Instead I will accept, and then use the face to face time to tell her that our relationship has run it’s course. I can’t imagine it will be unexpected to her. I’ll be surprised if she shows any emotion at all.

In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to do the same thing or just didn’t even ask me to coffee. Just let our relationship fizzle out. Her version of petty.

It’s kind of hard to believe it’s come to this after such a fantastic start. I suppose this happens in the dating world a lot. Just not something I’m used to. Oh well, life goes on. Might be easier too without all my hormones going crazy. It can be hard to think and focus. Not to mention it’s totally wrong for me to be in this relationship at all.

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11 thoughts on “Breaking Up

  1. You aren’t dating. You were never dating. The only course this would have run is into the ground. Sydney is simply a prop.

    For me, part of growing through this process is to start calling the things I’m doing the right name and not the convenient or self-serving name. It is, and always has been, an affair and a distraction. Romanticize however you want, but no one reading what you are writing believes you are a victim of Claire, Sydney, or Meridith’s power. You aren’t a victim. No one has power over you. You keep volunteering over and over to be the martyr.

    You should write for yourself but set aside your ego and be willing to learn.

    Keep trying.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m not even kidding when I say now, as I’ve said before, you need a through psych eval. I’m not trying to insult you I just think something is wrong. A hormone imbalance, midlife issues, personality disorder….something. At least you’d know why your life was spiraling and how you got to this point. You need tools to change or the happiness you search for will never be found. I’m saying this out of kindness because I’m still totally pissed off about how you’re treating your wife and children. It’s much easier to tell you sound like a lunatic but it’s not helpful so I’m telling you this. Stop wasting time and find out what makes you tick, then you can figure out what to do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m guessing mid-life. But who knows. What is normal anyway? I am going to counseling. I am trying to understand all this. I’ve learned more about how I tick in the last two years than the previous decades. It’s also sent me into a soap opera.

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      1. My normal is not purposely hurting people we love. Nothing huge….just that. I know that you’re lost and my anger comes from my own hurt. I’m sure you know that. I just hope your wife and children aren’t going though the same things we did. It was awful. It was painful. Even our dog was uncomfortable around him. Consider them in everything you do, please. Whether you and your wife stay together or not she will always be a part of your life. You are in the edge of making her hate you and sometimes there is no recovery from that. There no way you want that for your children. It would be so sad for them.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know where you come from. I do respect you. I am not some animal. I will do all I can for my wife and children. My goal is not to destroy them in my wake. I am a good dad. I love being dad and I never want that to stop. I do not fuck around at the expense of my children. I’ve ditched Sydney many times to go get my kids and she knows who comes first. They do every time.

        I know I have put my future at great risk. I wish I could go back and start it all over but I can’t. I am lost now in the midst of this horrible chapter. I’ll admit I’m doing a piss poor job of making it better but I’m doing the best I can right now.

        Liked by 1 person

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