Backing off Sydney

Clearly something is out of whack with my emotional state around her. I can’t get a grip on it. I think my mind is sabotaging me by attributing feelings from Meredith to Sydney. It’s not a fair thing to do for her or for me. She clearly does not feel the same way back, nor should she. It’s ridiculous, but I can feel it inside me.

I’m going to slow things down. Way down. Which shouldn’t be hard. She’s really busy right now with a product launch, and I have kids that keep me from nearly all happy hours. Life will go on at a slower pace.

How will I do this? Just stop reaching out unless it is a really obvious situation where I would reach out to her. If she wants to talk or go to lunch she can let me know, but I’m going to just let it lapse to perhaps every other week we touch base. Which  means also picking up the old habits and relationships I had been forming at a faster pace.

I had put some activities, and relationships on the back burner while I was exploring things with Sydney. She didn’t really enjoy the large group settings, and frankly niether do I, but I feel they are important to my job. I felt I could sacrifice a few to get to know Sydney better, and it was fun, but I can’t do it every week. Time to go back to who I was.


8 thoughts on “Backing off Sydney

    1. Conflicted? No I don’t think that’s it. There are emotions that are running rampant right now that I don’t believe have anything to do with Sydney. I need them to calm down. I think I’m transferring my emotions from Meredith to Sydney. It’s not right. I don’t have control over them. So I’m slowing down our interactions.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I would tread very carefully here. You have clearly anchored memories of Meredith to Sydney and regardless of her response to your conversation, you have still attached that to her and that creates a problem. Had she been interested in you, what do you think would have happened now, in 3 months, in 6 months? You DO sound conflicted, confused even. She’s JUST a work colleague right? Betrayed women develop a very strong sixth sense and your wife will notice if something is amiss.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I will be treading carefully. I do enjoy her friendship. The conversations we have are mind blowing. Well, she is interested in me, but she isn’t willing to cross that line. I’m not willing to anymore either which is why I brought it up to her. But you’re right I’m very confused but my own emotions. I’m clearly not in control of them even though I am in control of my actions. I mean it’s making my stomach ache at times. She is just a work colleague. But we got it off and started on a path to being friends.

      Liked by 2 people

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