Sex and Taxes

Quick note here. Had an interesting evening. I was working on my taxes and, due to my new job, there was some complicated stuff. At one point it showed that we owed more in taxes than I grossed last year.

As I was struggling through the problem I realized how turned on I was getting. Dealing with stress had always had this effect on me. I tried to convince my wife that we should play around and relieve some stress. Of course the stress had quite the opposite effect on her.

Then I realized we run into this problem quite frequently. When she is turned on I’m often not and vice versa. How very strange. I guess it’s not that strange, we have quite different interests.

Meredith was also drawn to sex when stressed. I remember that distinctly. We seemed to have the same things turn us on.

Frankly I’m not sure what to do with this. I’ll talk to my wife tonight about how I was feeling and how she was feeling. It will probably end in an agree to disagree, but perhaps we will learn about each other.


6 thoughts on “Sex and Taxes

      1. And that is your truth & that is why nothing else is working. I wish I could advise you but honestly I’d need a DeLorean. My ex acted his way once, when I thought it was about loving someone else. Now I know he isn’t capable of love. He just likes the feeling of being loved, the lusting after, and newness. He’s always searching yet never finding because you see, there’s a time limit on this type of affection. It’s not long lasting. The most intimate part is truly knowing and loving someone despite their issues, loving them past their insecurities, and loving them after the infatuation has disappeared. The closeness you feel from knowing all of it, good and bad, and sticking it out. That’s where the love is.

        Meredith is your poison. I think you know that. Good luck because I can’t even begin to imagine the internal battle. She isn’t living it though is she? She’s starting over. Adding to her family. You’re not ruining her. She’s moving forward. Just think about that and maybe you’ll find that same strength and get out of your own way.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. And one more thing, this BDSM lifestyle that you crave, that you say brought you back to life, isn’t real. It is foreplay and spicing it up but it isn’t a lifestyle. Think about what inside you wants it to be so badly. Think back to when you were 8 or 9 and remember what you wanted from life, what things made you happy, and who you wanted to be. You’re still that same person. BDSM isn’t it. Somewhere in there you’re hurting from something. Maybe you don’t know what it is or maybe you’ve been actively trying to cover it up for years but it’s there and this lifestyle you crave is another cover. You find someone else who wants to share that lifestyle with you, they’re broken too. Heal yourself. Find happiness within yourself. It’s no one else’s responsibility. You either are or you’re not. This lifestyle isn’t the key.

        Humor me, when you look into the future, what is something that you’re looking forward to?


  1. You aren’t not alone in this. Stress is often a factor in extra-marial affairs, though probably more as a stress reliever, an escapism rather than as a trigger, but maybe that is still linked here. However, as a thrill seeker which I suppose is how this is manifesting with you, the question is how do you deal with it. Do more taxes? Rollercoaster rides? Bungee junping? Who knows. The thrill seeking hormones in the body are addictive so this is probably something you should address.

    Liked by 1 person

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