An affair is never a good thing. It’s a weakness in one partner, and a sign of trouble in a marriage. However, it seems to have been a spark to my marriage.
The last two weeks have been different. Not revolutionary, but our marriage has changed. The affair has given us both the freedom to discuss what we want with full knowledge that where we were didn’t work. We have to throw out who we were and build up who we want to be.
My wife has taken on the submissive role in the bedroom quite well. We have had more frequent sex than I can ever remember. Intense sex too. Old forbidden rules no longer apply. It’s been good for both of us. She really seems to enjoy it.
She has started to learn how to ask for sex from a submissive rather than dominant angle, and she can see now how well that works. I don’t think she believed me for a long time when I tried to explain to her that the problem we had in the past was how she asks for sex. She didn’t believe there was a submissive way to do so, and she would always be very aggressive about it. The last two weeks she has been very submissive when asking, and she’s been well rewarded. In fact it’s almost impossible for me to say No. Seriously, it short-circuits my brain!
There is still a lot missing for me sexually, but it is clearly much better. I would still like her to learn more about submission, what it means to her, and talk with me about it. I would still like to be more into the pain aspects than we are. Perhaps with time. We are making progress.
In fact we are making so much progress so fast we actually have to take a break to let things heal. He he.
On the friendship side things have improved as well. She is less confrontational with me, and less argumentative. I believe it is an outpouring of the submissive side of her coming out. It is really nice. I would say it’s only about a 20% change, but it is noticeable. She talks to me slightly differently, and stops to try to understand me and what I’m saying before getting angry. Honestly a DS relationship is more than just sex. These elements play together throughout the day in many ways. I’m hopeful that this new mindset and new relationship will improve in multiple areas.
No revolutionary changes but I certainly feel better about things than I have in a long time.