Had an interesting evening. After the kids were to bed and I was back from running an errand my wife was finishing unloading the dishwasher. I needed to go take a shower and she knew I would need to as well. I came up behind her and squeezed her into me very sexually.
“Oh honey I’m just too tired and there are too many things to do.” She said. Note I haven’t said anything. I grabbed her and she has already decided nothing is happening tonight. Apparently we are right back where we used to be. Submission be damned.
I told her while being very aggressive with her that I was really horny. That I needed her to come upstairs with me. She said “it could be fun, and it might make me feel better.” Assuming sex was on her agenda. I responded “I need you to come take care of me.” She got kind of gruff like I would have the nerve to request she suck me off.
Finally she said “well you have been pretty great this week. I guess you deserve a blowjob.” To which I responded “I’m not interested in deserving anything. I’ll take what I need. But I can see you’re overwhelmed so I’m going upstairs and you can finish up what you need to.”
She became really upset and angry at that. At me saying I should take what I need. I had to wonder does she know anything about the D/s relationship? The reason I don’t earn sexual favors as a Dom is because it gives all the control to the sub. It’s not right and it does not turn me on.
I did explain that to her. I think she vaguely understood the concept, but was still upset over it all. She does not really want to change. She likes that I can do things to please her and “earn” sexual favors. That is control. Pure and simple. It turns me off big time. The only reason I’ve let if fly in the past is because I wanted a blowjob! Now I know to ask for more in my relationship.
We were going out of town for the long weekend and staying with family. Almost zero chance of sex during the weekend. It was our only chance at sex for a few days. She knew all this – still not going to do it.