Another Day

The last few days have been really hot, and I’ve been focused on the family. I’ve sort of picked myself up from last week. I still think about Meredith, of course, but I’m able to compartmentalize her a bit better. 

My wife and I have had a lot of sex lately. I told her this would happen. When I lead, fun stuff happens. She noticed. It was better sex than we had been having, but a far cry from where I want to be. I think the problem is that she doesn’t really know how to be a submissive. She isn’t one naturally. She just does whatever I tell her to do. It’s better than the constant resistance, but far different than the desire a true submissive has. 

I appreciate that she is trying. Maybe we will get better. I keep trying to engage her in conversations about sex and sending her material to read, but she avoids it. She’s “too busy right now.” Yeah I know. She’s been too busy for 18 years. I’m going to talk to her about finding a marriage or sex counselor together. Then I will be able to hold her accountable for her follow through. She pays greater attention to 3rd parties than to me. Ringing endorsement for success right?

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