We had another round. This time was all mine. I started it with the signal. She was ready as commanded. She followed my lead. I planned several things just for her. To make her feel cared for and able to relax.
I also included pain. We didn’t really do pain before. A couple of light spankings last time. This time garnered the belt. More intense pain – still not a lot, but definitely more intense. The pain was coupled with more intense closeness.
The sex itself was amazing. I mean I cranked things up and we both enjoyed the experience. It was rough but in control.
My assessment is essentially the same as before. She is letting me do these things to her, but her heart is not in it. We discussed it all today. How did it go? “Well. I liked it.” Not the most detailed answer. We need more and detailed communication.
After a bit more work I got her to tell me the pain was too much for her. Yikes! It was a very light spanking with a belt. She wasn’t even red, and she gets red easily. Ok, clearly no masochist tendencies.
Another thing that she was hung up on was the dress. I had her wear a dress from her closet. She was concerned the whole time we might ruin it. This sounds like such a small thing but it’s actually huge. She does not like wild and crazy sex. Does not like pushing limits. Previously, she would only really relax for naked sex with a blanket in the bedroom at the end of the day. These little things that take her out of her comfort zone – even wearing a dress – make it hard for her to enjoy the sex.
We will keep going for sure, but I’ll need to scale things back even more. I think next up is a more detailed discussion about the sex itself. What would make her happy. I need to know where she has placed hidden guardrails. I don’t mind pushing against them but I think I placed them much further out than she was ready for.
She also still hasn’t taken the quiz I asked her to do. That was an easy one. A gimme. It’s nice that she says she wants to do this with me, but I also need to see some energy taken toward it. I really want this to be an “us” thing. Not just a “me” thing. I will keep trying.