Journal: Retreat-bound

Another journal post by Meredith. I cut out a lot of this one as it was a lot of personal family stuff and medical stuff. But there is a good section about BDSM, and another about her continuing workouts. Which are for me. 

The part about how she dresses is important as that was something we talked a lot about. I’m big into making even casual look good because there are cameras everywhere and frankly it doesn’t take much extra time if you set it up right. She loved the idea but hadn’t ever lived like that. Also she knows how much feeling good about how you look can impact her mood. She was not feeling good about it. 

—–

The retreat is today!

[stuff about the retreat]. H took off the whole week so both he and my daughter are coming with me this time. It’ll be nice to have the help with her and to show H why retreat always meant so much to me.

I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed today. I have a sinus headache and I had really vivid dreams about getting in a fight with my step mom. It was over how I dress which I kind of understand- honestly I need to step up my game a bit. Work is casual but I need to find a balance and do business casual. I need some chinos or something. Anyway, the dream was dumb but it did make me think about clothes.

[personal family stuff]. 

[personal health related stuff. Discussion about eating healthier due to family medical reasons]. 

I read a literotica story last night called Raw. It’s one that I’ve been into for the last few weeks. I’m on chapter 3 now. Chapter 2 was all about her being trained as a submissive. She didn’t enjoy her first BDSM experience in chapter 1 because the guy didn’t do any aftercare. Now she had a new Dom that trained her and really takes care of her. It’s really sweet. At one point he gets her into sub space but then she crashes really hard and starts to cry. Her Dom holds her and comforts her… It made me think how much I want that. I want the raw emotional experience of being a sub both the intensity of the sex and the closeness of the aftercare.

I’m sitting in my garden. I’ve been meditating out here lately. It’s really peaceful. My plan was to do the 7 min workout today but my headache is so bad that I’m going to do yoga instead. Hopefully it’ll ease some of my tension.

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