Met with my counselor again today. Overall gist was a rather business like focus on me not enabling my wife when she overwhelms herself. She does this frequently, and the fallout is that I take on a bunch of work to make her feel better at my own expense. It’s so bad now I don’t feel I can even ask for things I need. We need to talk about it.
Thursday nights we are going to talk about us. Our relationship. With a glass of wine. It will be our regular check in on how we are doing.
My counselor asked how the communication was with Meredith. Well, it was amazing. Incredible even. Over three years she was always there for me. She understood my intentions.
Personality types. My wife and I are so different, but we get along well at planning things. We just don’t communicate well otherwise. She is extroverted sensing and I’m introverted intuitive. Our communication methods couldn’t be more different. It seems to me that I spend much of my time adapting to her way of being. Which has left me out in the cold.
Then there is grief. I’m really in the doldrums today. He honestly didn’t have much to say about that which was a little frustrating. He acknowledged it. That it feels much like the death of a marriage. But we didn’t go into great detail. I’m proud of myself for bringing it up though. It’s not easy to talk about.