Some days it seems I will never get away from Meredith. Maybe I need to quit my job, and move to a foreign land with no TV or internet. Today I received an email from my boss. It was a forward of an email Meredith had sent to my boss and my boss’ boss about a local TV show she made an appearance to promote a fund raiser for her organization. Yeah. I got to watch her all bubbly for 10 minutes on a TV program, and then talk to all my coworkers about it. They were all so excited, and I had to act the same.
What was crazy is I could feel myself drop while I was watching it. I try so hard to be in control of myself and my emotions all the time, but there are some things you just can’t control. This was one of those times. I just crashed. Any work I had been doing was right out the door. Just sitting and thinking about her. Missing her. Not sure how my life is going to continue this way. Something has to give that will be bigger than just me not seeing her anymore. I need out of this job. Maybe this company.