For some reason I was caught thinking today about Meredith, and never having her in my life again. The thought occurred to me that maybe there was a reason for her to show up and disappear. She taught me about myself. She opened up a side of me I didn’t know was there.
Perhaps she was like Obi-wan. She came into my life to teach me about things that were always there. When the teaching was near complete she was gone.
In that sense I wouldn’t need her anymore. I can now use the wisdom I gained from being with her to carry on my own life. There was much that I learned too. I’m finding that as I go through counseling and keep saying “that I learned from being with Meredith.” Once you know a new reality it is impossible to not know it. Meredith helped me uncover my own new reality.
Rather than be sad or upset by losing her I should cherish the time we spent, however short it was. Someday perhaps even thanking her for the gift she brought me. Being freed from my own ignorance of myself is a wonderful gift. Even if it comes with the pain of that new reality.