She claims she wanted to confirm our meeting for next week. I think she wanted to hear my voice again. When I think I see an undertone with Meredith I’m usually right. She’s so cute.
We confirmed the appointment. Then chatted for the next HOUR! It was a lovely, easy conversation. Just like old times. We talked about many varied things. Less has changed in her life than I thought over this time. Of course we will discuss in more detail next week. I have a list of topics prepared. Yes, I’m an INTJ.
One thing she has been struggling with for awhile, especially since her husband found out she had another lover, was how to explain to him the importance of our relationship and what was missing between them. Specially the BDSM elements. Bless his heart he will try things for her, but it never works and generally makes her feel worse. One time even ending in a panic attack.
Well she came up with a good analogy that he seems to be at least considering. She told him that this is much like photography. Every Joe Schmo out there has an iPhone and many even a DSLr camera these days. But that does not a photographer make. A real photographer will be focused on the composition, lighting, aperture and shutter settings, and many other factors to take a money making photograph. Meanwhile a thousand other people are just snapping pictures.
Essentially saying that it’s true her husband has all the equipment. He wants to do it (well kind of. He wants to do it for her but not for himself). He doesn’t have the skill or ability. But it’s actually more than that because with sex there is a desire. He is missing the desire for the BDSM elements which makes the experience awful for her. She can tell. Just as she can tell how much those elements turn me on, which in turn drives her to new heights. With her husband the desire is not there and it brings her down.
Just wanted to share a little from our call. She seemed in good spirits overall. Working hard to take care of herself but it’s hard. Trying to stave off depression.