Near Miss

Had a near miss yesterday. Walking through my garage when the extension cable snapped and the 3 foot long spring shot across the room. Had I been two steps further who knows what condition I’d be in. Scared the shit out of me. I was holding my baby at the time too. 

I’ve been ill the last couple of weeks but I need to get back on the hunt for a therapist. Watching that spring and cable slice through the air right in front of me adds a sense of urgency. I can’t just wait forever. 


15 thoughts on “Near Miss

  1. Glad you are ok.
    Because you and your wife are so different in your sexual needs it appears that you are in a no-win situation. You have three choices. The first is to give up any idea of the lifestyle you want and stay loyal to your life. The second is to tell your wife you cannot sustain the marriage and leave. The third is to cheat. As much as I want to judge you I can’t. I do not like cheating at all but I understand your needs are not being met in your marriage. I assume your wife’s needs are not being met either. A neutral third-party would help both of you come to some sort of understanding of where you are. I doubt very seriously you should share too much of what you desire sexually because it might harm your chances to share custody of your child if you should choose to divorce.
    I read somewhere on the net the person knew from birth they were interested sexually in what they described as “kink”. This is so foreign to me that I would have difficulty living with anyone whose interest was that.
    Human nature is nearly impossible to understand. We have a need to bond so that we can parent our children who have extremely long childhoods. On the other hand if we marry someone that we are totally incapable of enjoying emotionally, mentally or sexually then how do we sustain that bond? The commonsense approach would be that we should experiment with as many sexual partners as possible before marriage however unless we are very careful we are going to find a pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease to deal with. How to solve that has been the riddle of humanity. I do not know if other species pass on sexually transmitted diseases to each other but we have managed to kill each other doing it.
    My hope is that you and your wife find real happiness with, or without, each other.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for the insight Moi. I already did cheat but that is ended and I’m not planning on continuing to cheat. So I have two options. That is what I’m talking to a therapist about.

      Yes many of us can remember these thoughts and feelings from a very young age. Meredith and I used to talk about that with each other. We were just born this way.

      You are right on the sexual experimentation. I think I even wrote an article about that previously. I feel somewhat cheated by societal norms and expectations which did not allow me to discover myself. Now I’m in a world of hurt no matter how you slice it.

      My goal is the same as your hope. I want my wife to be happy too.


  2. Scary stuff! Glad you’re both okay and hope you shake the illness soon, if not already. I hope you find an amazing therapist soon, I’ve been absolutely loving mine – so many breakthroughs. But I’ve also been having some great conversations with good friends. I realise that it’s a continuous journey to stay in such….enlightenment I guess, but I’m excited to finally see what I’ve been trying to see for a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Those kinds of weirdly serendipitous happenings really have a way of clearing out the haze and gray areas in our priorities, don’t they? Do you feel up to seizing the meaningful moment and doing a thought experiment? If you had been two steps further into that room…and that day was your last on Earth (or, terrifyingly, your sweet little one’s last 24 hours)…how would you have most wanted to spend your time? Anything is on the table, as long as it is true to you. What would you have done on that last day?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, like everyone else has said, I too am glad you are both ok. It would have been terrible if either of you had been harmed.

    On another note, I feel sad for you and the loss of your relationships – your marriage and your Meredith. I understand why you had to end it though. It’s really the only way to put your marriage back together if it’s at all possible. I don’t have the strength at the moment nor desire to end my relationships even though I know my marriage is suffering. I get so much love and affection from my 2 guys that I don’t get at home. But at the same time, I know my husband loves me just like I love him. Maybe I need either my marriage or my relationships to come to a natural end before I can make a decision about what I want and move forward with my own life; either alone or with my husband. Scary though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your concern. I’m glad we are all ok too. Quite scary.

      I know life can be tough. I never intended to fall in love with another woman. I had to put her on hold while I work on myself and my marriage. I’m not really sure where things will end up but I need to start walking.

      You are in a heck of a situation too. I hope things turn out for you and your husband. It has to be hard going through what you have had to go through.


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