I was planning on writing less about Meredith in 2017, but I am failing that rather quickly. I want to clear up a few things about the nature of my relationship with Meredith.
We had a sexual relationship that is true. We also had much more than that. We worked together for over three years in near constant communication. Barely being apart for more than a few days at a time. We became close as friends, and knew all about each other’s families. All of that happened well before there was any sexual chemistry.
Our working relationship was amazing! From the first day we got along so well I could hardly believe it. She understood me in ways others always seemed to struggle. It was such a shock to me that I had to change the way I thought about her. I had to be cautious about getting overly personal because I didn’t want to become too close of friends while also being her boss.
Later we delved into why it was we got along so well. It turns out her step-father, whom she admires, is a very similar personality type as I am. We are both odd ducks. In their household they refer to him as an “enigma” because he is so odd. Yet Meredith could not believe the similarities between me and her step-father, or that another enigma existed. Uncanny she would say. She spent years with him, and learned much about how he operates.
All of that knowledge showed when we worked together. She instinctively knew what I meant even when I didn’t always get the point right; even when I may have been a little too direct. She never found offense with how I presented things. Again this was odd for me as most people found offense at some point with me. Wife especially.
The way we communicate is a core part of this for me. There are many people in this world, including my own mother, who constantly struggle and take offense with me in our communication. I know I can be direct and not always one to smooth the edges, but I’m genuinely a nice guy who means well. Wife usually gets it, but at least once a day has a conflict with me. Meredith always gets me. We’ve never had a big misunderstanding. Ever.
In fact Meredith and I sometimes can skip formal rules of communication completely. At times it seems like ESP. We are on the same page to such an extent that we can short hand very fluidly. We can talk ideas and float around with them together in our minds. Watching the ideas form and take shape while we quickly deliberate together. It can be quite beautiful and very exciting. We have a connection I’ve only ever dreamed of having with another human being.
But everyone is quick to tell me life happens. Life throws curve balls and chores at you that can dull romantic relationships. Once you get into the drudgery of living life any new relationship will have the same problems as the last one, so they say. Perhaps. On the other hand I often look forward to living the day to day life with Meredith. The way we communicate is unbelievable, and our energy levels, interests, and lifestyle choices match so closely that it actually sounds like quite an amazing experience.
How do I say this, the day to day drudgery is where Meredith and I really shine. Our relationship and communication improve our ability to get through the chaos and stressful moments. We feed off of and support each other in getting things done, and without all the time spent translating and explaining ourselves that has to be done with our spouses.
When I picture my perfect day at home it involves a lot of low energy activities and time with the kids. Most of that is impossible to do with wife, but happens to be exactly Meredith’s version of a good day.
You see Wife is loaded with energy. Boundless. I’m completely on the other end of the spectrum. How we want to spend our days differs dramatically. She can’t sit still with me and just relax. In fact she has a hard time relaxing for anything. She is constantly misreading me and working (actual work or just around the house) just a little longer until I’m frustrated. It’s always just a bit more. It is exhausting to be around. Generally when we plan our weekends now we either plan a joint trip somewhere or I try to be in the garage where I can relax with my own level of energy. She does not follow me down there. Actually when she does come down for something it often bothers me as she is intruding on my space and time. Bringing her intensity into my relaxing atmosphere.
Meredith exudes the same calm energy level as I do. It really doesn’t matter what we are doing. We have worked on big projects; boring projects; projects with tight deadlines; and even art projects together. It’s a breeze to be with her. She doesn’t stress me out in any way. She anticipated what I need and where I’m going.
Meredith is also a top notch mother. She teaches her child the same calmness and emotional intelligence her mother taught her. It’s like getting a black belt in EQ. Although for many, the idea of kids can put a damper on close intimate relationships I don’t see that happening with Meredith. She has a toddler now, and there is still plenty of sex drive and time for the emotional needs of the parents. My household is the same way. The kids are polite and on a schedule leaving us time to take care of things adults need to do. Perhaps the exhaustion of dealing with kids, but I know a good way to relieve that stress.
One thing I will note in relation to sex, Meredith has an insatiable sex drive, and being a mother hasn’t changed that. Her drive matches my own. This is something we discussed long before we were having sex. In fact it’s one of the pain points in both our marriages. It’s just that I hear lots of “once you have to deal with the kids…” comments, but we are already dealing with the kids.
Lastly I wanted to talk about goals. We share and support each others goals. We both come from marriages where we had to be the ones to put our goals on hold. Being together for even a brief time allowed us both to see what it is like when someone truly believes in you, and wants to actively help you achieve your goals. There is nothing more bonding than that. We both already started aiding each other in our pursuits. If we were together it would be an easy thing to continue.
Thank you for reading. This one got a little long and it was a bit unexpected. I just felt the need to clear up a few points. Or at least try. I did not write here about all the ways we could fail, of which there are many, but only the positives so I readily admit this is a lopsided article.