I’m laying here in bed wide awake at 1am because of the idiots shooting off fireworks followed by a screaming child.
All I can think about is Meredith. I know I shouldn’t. I’m trying not to think about her all the time, but I still do. Last year we spent the day together with our kids, and then the night together with our families. She stayed the night here with her husband and child.
This year we are not allowed to even communicate. Honestly I’m lucky that Wife didn’t find out or H didn’t tell her about the affair. 2016 didn’t end well but it certainly could have been worse.
I just really miss her today. 2017 looks bleak for me. I’ll try to find joy where I can. It still makes me so sad to think about the connection I had with Meredith and how much I learned about myself and life. To have that deep of a connection and to have it disappear is really hard. Then to have all these memories of last year – well it’s hard.
Good night all. Happy New Year.