Relationship with Wife

This is interesting. Bear with me as I know I’m putting way too much thought into this, but I just love over analyzing. You never know what you’ll find!

When I was on the phone with Meredith Monday she said “You know I was thinking about this the other day, and wanted to tell you. The first day we met, when you hired me, and you know, the green sweater. Well I saw that photo of you and your wife on your desk, but I didn’t know who it was. Instinctively from looking at the photo I nearly asked ‘Is that you and your sister?’ I’m glad I didn’t because as I stopped and thought about it it seemed strange that you would have a photo of you and your sister.”

What brought this up? Well we had been talking about our relationship to our spouses, and how they are like really great friends. Perfect roommates. Apparently this photo of Wife and I gave off the impression that we were siblings rather than spouses. It gave me great pause when she said that. Obviously she is my wife and we have sex and all that, but our relationship IS more like a sibling relationship! We function well together but there really isn’t any flirting or playing like you would have with a romantic partner. We are really good friends who have less than average sex infrequently. 

The way Meredith saw that really made me think about how I interact with Wife in general. Honestly I’m not sure what it should look like. All I know is how it is. We love each other, but there isn’t a flaming passion between us. Wife will talk about the days activities and our to do lists right up until we are having sex. Just this year I finally told her how ridiculous that was, and she needs to stop. I literally had to tell her that when we are moving toward sex she needs to focus on us. Why would I need to tell my lover that? And trust me it’s not because I’m screwing it all up. She resists every romantic gesture until I’m knocked down to the point of “let’s get it over with.” She just doesn’t have that part of her brain that gets in the moment. The same part of the brain that I crave to use daily. Over time I think it has changed our relationship and how we interact.


Btw the green sweater Meredith mentioned. Due to circumstances I hired her as an internal hire site unseen. I met her for the first time on her first day, and she was BEAUTIFUL! She had long brown straight hair, cute glasses, and this really sexy green sweater. It stuck in my mind. Earlier this year when we were flirty she asked what my earliest memory of her was and I told her that I remember walking into the reception area and meeting her. Then I described what she was wearing. She remembers it too, because she put a lot of thought into her first day outfit.

She couldn’t believe the detail I remembered, and it still makes her swoon to know that I paid that much attention on the first day. Of course over this year I have shown her that I pay attention to many details about her. It’s what I do when I’m in love.


7 thoughts on “Relationship with Wife

    1. I hear what you’re saying but I don’t think so. Things started at a snails pace with Wife and I remained patient thinking things would get better. We’ve moved up to turtle maybe. Maybe. And we are stalled there. We just don’t have that connection.

      Mistress and I, well that’s a different story. We are two high powered sports cars. If we slow down to SUV speed or even jack rabbit I think we will still be doing fine. We just operate differently together.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Oh yes, marriage has a way of sibling-nizing even passionate partners. Imagine what it does to sexually mismatched partners?

    My closest “normal” comparison is my relationship with N. It is 7 years now. He developed ED this year.

    But for all the years previous there were “high tides” and “low tides” but we always stuck through it and 90% enjoyed it. Until his ED we were 100% matched in terms of sex drive (though we have a very weak intellectual connection).

    I guess what I’m trying to say is even in the best matched sexual scenarios it will never be perfect, just really good. In the mismatched scenarios you’re doomed.

    I wish I could say my husband even felt like a brother!! As it stands he is a financially generous roommate– at best.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “Financially generous roommate”. I like that!

      That’s it though. Wife and I match pretty well on the friendship and intellectual side. Although there are some major areas of misunderstanding mixed in there as well. However on the sexual side we are miles apart. We were doomed from the beginning, but hey I’m patient and thought it would resolve itself over time. Boy was I wrong!

      Liked by 2 people

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