One of the interesting and unexpected things that happened as a result of starting this blog was reading other bloggers and the interactions among them. I have found myself face to face with victims of infidelity. Whereas I would be the transgressor, or as some put it, the monster. Their words are heavy; their emotions strong. It makes me really question why I was writing this at all, and what I expected to get out of it.
To all of you who have been cheated on, and have had to deal with the aftermath, I’m terribly sorry. Your pain comes through in your writing, and really affects me. I feel a lot of empathy for you.
There are some common themes I keep seeing too that really upset me. The first is the leaving of children. It’s as if these fathers just completely abandon their previous lives, children and all. I love my children, and the thought of leaving them and turning my back makes my stomach turn. I really do not understand how anyone could do that. To me those people do not deserve any respect.
The other theme I see is simply being an asshole. Before their spouse is aware of what’s going on they drain bank accounts or start living their new life at her expense. It’s pretty shitty. It makes me think that to many of these men once you check out then you no longer have to treat your spouse with any respect. Like it’s a game of gotcha. That is complete bullshit.
I’m still not sure what I want to do with my future. However I have learned a few things I do NOT want to do. I will NEVER abandon my children. Ever. End of story. I love those children.
And I still love my wife. Whether it works out or not I want to treat her with complete respect. I know it is not my choice but I would like to stay friends and be good co-parents to our children if we do split. This will probably piss a lot of people off and perhaps I am dreaming but it is what I hope for. Throughout I will treat her with the kindness and respect she deserves, and do all I can to make her life as comfortable as possible without me in it.
That leaves many things left unknown and future decisions still to be made, but I did want to share some thoughts on what an unexpected gift writing this blog has become. I’m sure over the coming months I will learn even more. Thank you all.