Conversation with Meredith

She did finally call me on Friday. I was hoping to hear from her then. For I knew if I did not hear from her on Friday then I wouldn’t hear from her until Monday at the earliest.

It turns out I was right. She was just being kind, and giving me space to be with my family. She is very kind. My paranoia was again unfounded.

Our relationship is an interesting one right now. Before the affair started we were best friends. Honestly I could not believe I found such a wonderful best friend, and I was concerned it was with a woman. I did everything I could to not see her in a sexual way because the friendship was that valuable to me. She is very beautiful so that was no easy task.

She was, and still is, a best friend I could share everything with. I have precious few close friends and none like her. I know I’m a rare individual, a bit of an odd duck, but to find such a perfect counterpart seemed almost too good to be true. She understands my quirks and enjoys them. She knows who I really am, and helps me navigate the world to enrich myself.

Then a conversation happened in December that changed everything. We found our sexual needs were both strange, unique, and perfectly complimentary to one another. We did not mean for it to happen but it did. That started a course for us that put us where we are today. It changed us from best friends to lovers as well.

Now I’m in a situation where we are no longer pursing any physical connection. We are still trying to communicate though. It’s not easy to stop all communication with your best friend. Honestly if it could be I would be happy with having her back as just a best friend, but I don’t think that is possible anymore. We have gone too far. It’s all or nothing.

Our conversation on Friday was good. We talked of how we have been. We talked of our struggles. We talked some of our future. It’s going to be a long road no matter what. I need her as a friend.

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