I’m tired. Very tired. I feel like I’m living two lives. Thankfully they are not full time, and Meredith understands my other time commitment. It is still mentally draining.
Meredith is dealing with a lot of difficult things right now. From working on dissolving her marriage to moving to dealing with demands at work. She’s busy, and stressed out. She wants to talk to me, her best friend, about the stress in her life. Naturally I want to do all I can to help her. To be the ear of reason. To be myself, which tends to always work for her. However it is really hard to take on all that emotional stress without being able to do much about it.
Then within my home life I’m dealing with my own stress: job search; marital struggles; new baby; and the emotional struggles of Wife. She leans on me for support as well. I’m very good at helping both ladies cope with their insecurities, and the stress inducers in their lives. It takes a toll on me though. To be present, to really understand what they are going through, to put myself in their shoes and be able to help them takes a lot of mental energy.
When people hear of friends who have multiple girlfriends and they ask them “how do you do it?” it’s true. There is a cost. To keep relationships hidden and be present in both is a lot of work. Juggling multiple emotional people has made me tired today.