When you think about divorce and children you always wonder what is right for them. Obviously avoiding divorce seems the most logical choice, but is it always right?
In the case of abuse I think it’s easier to consider. If the husband is physically abusive to his wife and children most would justify a divorce. But what about just verbal abuse? Is that enough for justification if one parent or the other was always putting down the other and the children?
Then there is the hopes, dreams and happiness factor. This is probably the weakest factor but very important to me. In this case one parent is no longer happy with their spouse. They are unfulfilled. They feel that there life has become a mirage and they can see their hopes and dreams fading away because their spouse does not support them. It’s often subtle and generally the spouse means very well, but they cannot understand what it is that they are doing to cause the rift.
In those cases is it best for the children if the parents to stay together while one is perennially unhappy? What kind of a home environment does that set for the children? Would it not be better for them to see their parents happy? Just “being together” may not be enough.
If you decide to separate, on the one hand you are tearing the family apart. But in the other you are being strong and standing up for what you need as a person. I do believe that we need to set examples for our children on what type of person we want them to be. Young men will be influenced on how they treat women by how they see their dad treat women. Young ladies will be influenced on how to respect themselves by watching how their mothers respect themselves.
I guess this comes down to, is it better to be in an unhappy marriage to keep the family together or to rip the bandaid off and split the family apart for a try at real happiness?